Can’t get enough of those summer flix

I’m not listing EVERY MOVIE that’s coming out this summer. Just the ones that make me raise an eyebrow or two. Stats courtesy of Yahoo. Dates are subject to change.

Opening June 29, 2005

War of the Worlds
What strikes me about the trailers is how un-fantasy it appears. I’m reminded of Spielberg’s Close Encounters, which looked like it was really happening in 1977. The director has said he’s approaching the subject matter as a “what if?” story. How would the nation react if it became a refugee camp, under the thumb of aliens from another world?

Opening July 1, 2005

Undead
I used to be really excited to see this Australian zombie comedy/horror film. But that was 2 YEARS ago. Now I’m still going to see it, but my enthusiasm has waned. What’s cool is that it was done independently, even edited on Adobe Premiere. What’s not so cool? Lions Gate seems reluctant to advertise it as “funny.” There may be some angry theater goers.

Opening July 8, 2005

Dark Water
A remake of the scariest movie about a leaky ceiling ever made. It looks very similar to The Ring (too similar?) so I’ll be checking this one out. Jennifer Connelly!

Fantastic Four
Each trailer makes this movie look better and better. Sure, it probably won’t be up to par with Spider-Man and Batman, but I’m willing to buy a ticket anyway.

Murderball
A documentary about the high-impact sport of quad rugby, where quadraplegics in armored wheelchairs battle it out. I heard one of the subjects interviewed on Wease this week, and it sounds insane. How safe can it be playing a contact sport with a spinal injury?

Opening July 13, 2004

Hustle & Flow
This looks like Ice T’s life: a pimp struggles to make it in the music industry. Good looking photography. Stars Terrence Dashon Howard from Ray and Lackawana Blues.

Opening July 15, 2005

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
I wasn’t sure about this one after the first trailer. Obnoxious music, and Johnny Depp looking way too androgenous. Now, after seeing the second trailer, I’m almost sold. Now I get why they wanted to make another adaptation. The interiors of the factory look amazing. The squirrels in the nut room – like real squirrels! As for the Oompa Loompas, they’re all played by the same actor, Deep Roy, and he does a whole lot of singing and dancing as the hundreds of tiny factory workers.

The Warrior
Set in ancient India, this is the epic tale of a lone warrior, Lafcadia (Khan) who quits his job as the enforcer of the war lord of the Red Fort after an encounter with a mystical force during a mission to raid a village in the deserts of Rajasthan for unpaid taxes. Abandoning his old life, the warrior is chased into the Himalayan Mountains, pursued by his former employer’s forces… ultimately facing them there.

Wedding Crashers
I may have to break my rule about not seeing comedies in the theater for this one. I usually don’t dig the boisterous movies that set out to please SNL fans. The trailer for this one had me laughing along with everyone else, though.

Opening July 22, 2005

The Devil’s Rejects
The Firefly Family is on the run, and this time it’s serious. Director Rob Zombie is doing a grittier film in the vein of Straw Dogs or Badlands this time around. Plus, more Sid Haig can never be a bad thing.

The Island
This looks like a cross between Minority Report and Logan’s Run. Only Michael Bay would give us so many explosions in an existential story about the loss of identity and the morality of cloning.

Last Days
Reclusive musician Blake, who is asked for money and favors by all his friends, spends his time in and near his wooded home, becoming a lonely fugitive from his own life. A Kurt Cobain inspired story directed by Gus Van Sant

November
A paranoid thriller about a woman photographer whose boyfriend is killed. She later believes that the killer might be stalking her… The plot of this doesn’t really grab me, but I would like to see Courteney Cox-Arquette in a dramatic role, so I guess I’m interested.

Opening July 29, 2005

The Aristocrats
Comedy veterans and co-creators Penn Jillette and Paul Provenza capitalize on their insider status and invite over 100 of their closest friends, (who happen to be some of the biggest names in entertainment, from George Carlin, Whoopi Goldberg, Drew Carey to Gilbert Gottfried, Bob Saget, Paul Reiser and Sarah Silverman, just to name a few) to reminisce, analyze, deconstruct and deliver their own versions of the world’s dirtiest joke, an old burlesque routine, too extreme to be performed in public, called “The Aristocrats”.

Night Watch (Nochnoi Dozor)
Millions of Russian fantasy vampire fans can’t be all wrong. Check out my summary of the film here.

Sky High
Featuring Bruce Campbell as an overbearing gym coach in a school for super-heroes. That’s all I need to hear. (Wait, does this have anything to do with the Korean movie Volcano High about a school for super-heroes?)

Stealth
Deeply ensconced in a top-secret military program, three pilots struggle to bring an artificial intelligence program under control … before it initiates the next world war. While A.I. gone bad sounds like an okay idea, did they have to resort to LIGHTNING to make the plane become self-aware? C’mon, that’s so 1931.

Opening August, 2005

2046
A sort of sequel to Wong Kar Wai’s In The Mood For Love. It intertwines stories of the characters from the first movie, fictional versions of those characters, and robots living in the future! That doesn’t sound right to me at all, since In The Mood For Love was a touching character study about adultery in the 1960s.

The 40 Year Old Virgin
Steve Carell is a funny, funny guy. From Judd Apatow, creator of Freaks & Geeks and Undeclared.

Broken Flowers
Bill Murray stars as an over-the-hill Don Juan who returns to visit some of the last loves of his life. A big hit at Cannes.

The Brothers Grimm
FINALLY! Terry Gilliam’s latest seemed like it would never come out. Brothers Jake and Will Grimm, renowned collectors of folklore, have made a career out of traveling from village to village pretending to rid them of “enchanted” creatures. Their bluff is called, however, when they are forced by Napoleon’s French government to investigate a haunted forest where girls have been disappearing mysteriously. What they discover leads to a series of adventures involving an actual evil (and immortal) sorceress that mirrors that of mythology and the fables that the Brothers Grimm would eventually become famous for.

The Cave
How is it that people are STILL ripping off Alien? This one doesn’t look fun at all. Maybe I shouldn’t even list it here.

The Dukes of Hazzard
I wasn’t interested in this, but then I saw the trailer… The song “Black Betty” can really get you revved for a movie about a car. And Jessica Simpson. But why are Bo and Luke so dumb? That’s just not right.

The Great Raid
Set in the Philippines in 1945, “The Great Raid” tells the true story of the 6th Ranger Battalion, under the command of Lieutenant Colonel Henry Mucci (Benjamin Bratt) who undertake a daring rescue mission against all odds. Traveling thirty miles behind enemy lines, the 6th Ranger Battalion aims to liberate over 500 American prisoners-of-war from the notorious Cabanatuan Japanese POW camp in the most audacious rescue ever.

Grizzly Man
Werner Herzog found something fascinating about the life of a man who lived and died with grizzly bears. I hope I will too.

Hellbent
Maybe I’ll hate this, but I at least want to see it. Hellbent is being billed as the first-ever gay horror/slasher movie. The film follows five gay men fighting to stay alive at one of the most outrageous celebrations of the year — Halloween night in West Hollywood. Talk about going after a niche audience… gay horror fans. No, I’m not gay.

The Pink Panther
I guess if you had to remake the Pink Panther, Steve Martin is a pretty good choice as Clouseau. This might be a real stinker, though.

Red Eye
This looks to be that rare gem that comes along once in a great while: a Wes Craven movie that doesn’t disappoint.

The Skeleton Key
Kate Hudson fights voodoo in New Orleans. Saw the trailer for this again the other night, and it still doesn’t look scary. John Hurt is usually pretty good, though.

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance
Asian horror and action fans seem to love this flick. I’m actually surprised it’s getting a U.S. theatrical release. Now I’ll have to check it out.

Valiant
A WWII tale about carrier pigeons vs. hawks, CG animated in England and released by Disney.

September

Serenity
Okay, not a summer movie. But I’m excited enough about Joss Whedon’s Firefly movie that I need to include it on the site somewhere. I caught the trailer the other night. It actually looks like a bigger episode of the show (same sort of TV photography and cast) with bigger and better effects. River does some major Kung Fu, and I thought I even saw a Reaver or two.